Forming an attachment with a child entering your home is crucial to their mental health, ability to thrive, and overall well-being. Coming from backgrounds of trauma, unsafe environments, or unsafe relationships often children in care enter a new family and home with their guard up, unsure about the safety of their new environment or the people now caring for them. Building a healthy attachment to help the child feel safe and comfortable in the home will take time, energy, and trust.  

Here are some tips to get started on forming emotional bonds and creating attachment with your child. 

• Create a daily routine for the child that they can depend on. This may include a morning and nighttime routine, meal routine, weekly family outings, or integrating family time into home routines. These routines will help create stability for the child in the home as they become aware of what to expect on a regular basis.   

• Show your child you care about them by doing things that make them feel loved. This may include spending one-on-one quality time with them engaging in an activity they enjoy such as playing a board game, going to the park, or baking treats. 

• Affirm your children with words to show your appreciation and care toward them. Ask the child about their day, their feelings, or their interests to help build trust and open communication for them to share how they are feeling and doing. 

• When appropriate and the child is comfortable with this, show physical affection by hugging the child, giving the child a high five, a pat on the back, or reading a book together. 

• Speak positively about the child’s biological family and when possible, form a healthy and positive relationship with them. Input received from biological family about the child and the child’s care in their home can promote a smooth transition of the child into your home and stability for the child when they are in your care.  

• To help a child begin feeling part of the family include them in family photos that are posted in the home, provide them with opportunities to be involved in chores that biological children in the home are completing such as setting up for a meal together, and get the child’s input for planning future family activities and outings. Doing these will help a child feel connected, involved, and included in the family.  

Creating attachment with a child in care will not happen overnight, but by putting some of these things into practice regularly you will slowly begin to build trust, connection, and a bond with the child over time, that will bring them security and help set them up for healthy relationships in the future! 

 

Resources: 

–The Importance of Attachment in the lives of Foster Children 

–Attachment: You and Your Foster Child- A Guide for Foster Parents 

–Building Attachment While your Foster/Kinship Baby Goes through Withdrawal